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the isle of gods

There are two Balis in Indonesia. They exist side-by-side.

The first is revealed to me as the minivan groans its way past two security checkpoints – neatly trimmed, well-manicured lawns, pristine white deckchairs, parasols waving gently in the sea breeze. Balinese peddlers, browned by the sun walk by the seafront, sand between their toes, their wares piled in a basket balanced on their heads.

In this Bali, every room is air-conditioned (even the toilets). Sometimes, the air may be perfumed with frangipanni. If you wish to swim, a selection of swimming pools await you. Some are quieter than others, tucked away into the corners of the hotel. Others are heated in the early hours of the morning. There are a few saltwater pools (though with the sea just a few steps away, one wonders what purpose a saltwater pool is meant to serve). When you get hungry, you may choose from a wide array of restaurants: there is japanese food, vaguely European cuisine, and a selection of steaks and grilled meats.

Guests at this Bali lack for nothing: The beds are soft and comfortable enough to live up to the advertisement in the lift lobby: ‘our beds are a piece of heaven’; food is served daily at a variety of locations; everywhere you go, friendly, smiling Balinese staff press their hands together and bow low in greeting.

The other Bali, I have only begun to discover.

I find it in a quiet stretch of non-hotel beach, walking under the languid humidity of the noon sun with a friend. Little children are running around us, laughing, playing with makeshift kites made from plastic bags, drawing Spongebob in the sand. A small black dog approaches, tail held high, sniffing curiously. He clearly thinks he owns this beach, if not the world. The grey sea is dotted with colourful fishing boats and the sea is pungent with the smell of fish. There is a man standing in the sea, fishing. Seawater sloshes around his ankles. Slightly further away, a group of fishermen heave and push at a boat, trying in vain to launch it. Their singsong voices fade into the distance as we stroll through the shifting sands. I find a coconut by the water, its top dusted lightly with sand. Sand is leaking gradually into my shoes, and with every step I take, I seem to sink back half a step – but on this beach, time seems to have slowed to match the heavy, sun-laden air. We take time to spot shapes in the clouds, to spin yarns out of the breeze.

I find it in the late night silence of a moonlit mountain, feet sliding soundlessly into fertile volcanic soil, pregnant with possibility. The full moon looks down and casts a silvery veil over the expectant trees and greenery. Everything looks as if it might be imbued with magic, lit from within by the moonlight. I suspect we are slightly crazy, to be trekking up a mountain at 4 in the morning – but this panorama, with the stars twinkling overhead and the pinpricks of torchlight from other like-minded trekkers stretching ahead of us like a newly minted constellation, is worth almost anything. We talk intermittently, our steps punctuated by our breathing. The mountain air smells fresh and fragrant – frangipanni again, perhaps. Here and there, shrines to the mountain gods are tucked into the shrubbery, offerings and incense spilling onto the ground. Later, we watch the sun rise over the lake, cold wind tousling our hair, hands clutching cups of sweet tea and coffee. Almost two thousand metres above sea level, there is space enough and time enough to laugh and joke and banter. The sun bathes the mountainside in gold, and the sky overhead is cornflower blue.

This is the Bali that I will treasure, above and beyond carpet grass gardens: the welcoming lilt of Bahasa Indonesia, the dangerous majesty of the moutains, and those fishing boats, bobbing happily on a salty sea.

the rumble of the engine as the ignition is turned; the growl of the car as one foot eases down on the accelerator and the other releases pressure on the clutch, ever, so, slowly. keep it level, within an inch of the car leaping forward like a sprinter leaving the starting blocks. listen to the car. listen.

the car glides forward, humming under the bonnet. pick up speed: allow the clutch to inch upward slightly. the indicator of the speedometer surges forward. change up: the clutch goes down swiftly, the accelerator is released, the fingers flick the gearstick downward. at the sound of the gearstick slotting neatly into second gear, the feet move – the clutch goes up, slow and easy; the accelerator goes down. the car slurps up the noodle of the road ahead.

there is no traffic. change swiftly up to third gear – clutch down, accelerator up. make sure the fingers manuoevre the gearstick through neutral into third. let the car have its head: guide it easily around the bends, let it roar ahead on the straights. the engine is a pleasant, steady rumble – can cars sound happy? this one does.

 

there was a storm last night: sharp whips of lightning giving silhouette to cloud; staccato tattoo of thunder rolling in the darkness. it went on for hours, a blustery ferocity that blew in through my open windows, shaking its head and snorting, angry bull in a china shop. made it hard not to think of gods and goddesses and chariots of fire.

morning comes again, swaying on the train, humd heat already seeping in through the carriage. mornings pile on mornings, and these untidy mountains make it hard sometimes to remember those other days -

makes me wonder, will i always be dreaming of cool breezes and cloud, savouring these brief cloudbursts in the night?

 

 

chasing the moon

night:
terrace house gleaming
my garden a pond of clear silver
tried to imagine the street in moonlight -
manufactured yellow warmth
kept
interrupting
___________________________
stargazing and studying the puddles of moonlight at my feet; the full moon a silent presence, hanging right over my house.

 

criss-crossing cities

New York

Unfortunately my first impression of New York is one of rust.

As my yellow cab creaks through the murderous New York traffic, we pass underneath numerous bridges and I notice that the paint on the bridges is mostly peeling away, revealing brown and red flecks of rust underneath. It is not the most comforting of feelings.

New York feels more crowded than London. Before dinner on my first day, I kill some time at the Strand bookshop, a huge bookstore near where I am staying. No doubt there are a great many books there, creaky metal shelf upon creaky metal shelf, but it is also hot and stuffy, and for some reason (maybe more people than usual have been driven inside by the rain) people keep brushing up against me or my bag, and after half an hour rotating through the fiction section, I have had enough. I wonder if a week in New York will make me claustrophobic.

My first two days in New York are awash in rain. It is rather tiresome to be exploring the city from under the eaves of an umbrella, and sloshing through large grey puddles is absolutely no fun at all. The grid system of New York lends my explorations an air of expectancy, since a block will invariably end in a crossing, which will inevitably reach another block. Walking has become a monotonous task, broken only by the inclement weather, which soon also becomes a constant wet patter against my umbrella.

On my third day, the sun deigns to grace this square city. Watching the sun rise over Manhattan, I conclude that New York City is only beautiful from a bird’s eye perspective; the skyscrapers half-illuminated by the sun, half cast in darkness. When I’m on the grey and gritty streets sidestepping rubbish, New York seems like anything but the city of dreams.

New York at dusk is something else, again.

One night, I emerge from the subway and walk back to 14th Street from Times Square. The sun hadn’t quite sunk beneath a horizon that was intersected by buildings: tall skyscrapers, shorter tenements, the ubiquitous water tank piercing the sky, shadows bracketed by fire escapes. The grid design of the city that I had bemoaned as boring and uninteresting a few days before now threw sharp silhouettes into the pink and pale blue skies. I haven’t quite put my finger on exactly what it is about the tall buildings, but they do frame the sunset in a completely different way from any city in Europe. This city is like an onion. I have to work at it and peel away the layers in order to get to the heart of what makes this city tick, and even then, I’m not entirely sure which side of this city is its true face.

Ultimately though, the planned grid makes me feel a little like a rat in someone else’s maze, and it irks me that taking short-cuts (walking in a diagonal fashion) is actually a physical impossibility in this city. I have grown used to walking cities, a map in my hands, wandering, and the parts of New York that I gravitate towards are those that defy the grid system, just a little. East Village and West Village are reminiscent of Soho, London: winding streets, narrow pavements, quirky independent shops, music shops, exciting thrift shops, bells chiming the hour.

London

Landing in London after a six hour flight punctuated with the cries of what sounded like an army of caterwauling babies is a huge relief, but screaming children aside, going to London is always a little bit like going home. I have fond memories of the city from my childhood, and these memories have only been reinforced by yet more memories formed in my three years of university.

I suspect that any attempt to summarise or adequately note down the two weeks spent in London will only end up sounding garbled and convoluted, but I shall do my best nonetheless.

Being in London again feels reassuringly normal, in all the best ways. Friends I meet up with tell me how surreal and normal it all is, standing with me at a busstop at half two in the morning or talking with me over a kitchen counter top, trading stories. Surreal because on some level, it feels like I shouldn’t be in London, by right. Normal because I have simply picked up the threads of my London life, and continued on from where I had left off, as if I had never really left at all.

I won’t deny that for the past few months I have been living half my life in London, always subtracting eight or seven hours away from the time on the clock – it is nice to finally be able to talk to my friends without having to do some mental arithmetic first. After the grid of New York, it is also nice to be able to wander properly, to walk the nooks and crannies of Soho again, dust off my London compass and once again bankrupt my (fairly obliging) friends by dragging them off to new and exciting food places. Of course, old haunts are just as cherished as new ones, and sometimes there is no better way to round off a dinner than with cups of tea and long conversations seeming to consist of nothing but laughter and silliness.

London is a city that is very dear to me. It is a city that makes me want to linger, and each time that I am there I know I will find good conversation and better company, late nights turning into early mornings, light streaming in through open windows.

home dry

If a tree falls in
an empty house -
is not a home
faded chinese lantern
chick bamboo blinds askew -

does it make a sound?
______________________

walking in to my house some days back, someone was chopping down palm trees in a neglected garden.

slithering, opaque and cylindrical.
unmarred straightness – a snake?

there are no snakes
in stone jungles

 

___________________________________________________

I know the idea of the urban jungle is so cliched and overused by now, but I like the sound of the last stanza, cliche notwithstanding. Inspired by an ordinary urban sight, as I was crossing the overhead bridge tonight.

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